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By Kamran Shafi
SO then, the Pakistan Day Parade was held after all, within the confines of the Sports Complex, Islamabad the Beautiful.
Never mind that athletics and sports camps set up there for several upcoming international games including the Olympics had to be closed down, never mind that the Tennis Academy admirably run by Mushaf and where my Zainab and tens of other children go was displaced.
The last whimper of a dying dictatorship simply had to be sounded, and what a last whimper it was! There were, as predicted, something like two thousand spectators, mostly officers, JCOs and their families trucked in from Rawalpindi and of course the caretaker ‘prime minister’, he reminding us all of the iniquity of appointing the sitting chairman of the Senate and a member of the (now deceased) King’s Party to this post.
The funniest was the sight of the hugely truncated mechanised columns, hiding behind the curve of the main stadium waiting for their turn to roll past the dais. Parades are noisy, colourful, hugely (and widely) attended affairs held in the open; not, as I wrote in this same space last week, held cowering in fear, behind fences and barbed wire.
The Commando too was a much-subdued commando: just going through the paces of what his advisers must have told him was a most essential part of telling all and sundry who is boss. Gone was the swagger and the jaunty flick of the shoulders; gone was the petulant, stern glare.For the days of swagger are long gone, indeed. With everyone and Charlie’s aunt including please note, Mushahid ‘Mandela’ Hussain, ready to axe 58-2(b), what else? And this is only the beginning of the end. What if the government only extends the Commando the security and protocol laid down in the Blue Book, no more no less?
There is news too that, as suspected by everyone AND Charlie’s aunt, the barricades (much shame on you, sirs, the lot of you — even those who acquiesced to the illegal, shameful orders) around the judges’ colony will be lifted. What then, especially after My Lord Iftikhar Chaudhry starts to tour the Bars around the country, and the expected fallout of those visits?
There is still time. Yes there is. But is there no one who has made use of Musharraf’s stay in absolute power to his/her own benefit who will now talk some little sense to him? Is there no one to tell him that there is still time to say sorry for his government’s heavy-handed and completely shameless and highly stupid actions against the superior judiciary?
And to reinstate it with honour, the Commando saying he did not want the confrontation to go on any longer; that he wanted Pakistan to embark upon its democratic journey unfettered with his baggage, and that he would always wish the country and its people well.
So saying he could resign his so-called ‘office’ and drive his Humvee to Chak Shehzad and his upcoming villa. We are a highly emotional lot; I can bet people will come out onto the streets in joy and wish him well (and good riddance!). Even now.
However, the Commando is a great big commando and the epitome of machismo. I do not think he will listen, but can his friends at least give it a try?
And now to the future. First, a big welcome to the newly elected members of the National Assembly; and to Madam Speaker for being elected by a thumping majority of votes which should have sent several shivers down the spines of those that inhabit the house next door.
It was great to see this woman politician who has been in successful electoral politics for many years take the Speaker’s chair in the National Assembly. It was as if a breath of fresh air had blown through that glittering chamber. More strength to her.
It was good to see too that the one or two times that she spoke, she spoke strongly and with conviction, and in no uncertain terms. It seems that Madam Speaker will not mince her words; will not shilly-shally and utter inanities such as those we are used to hearing. And will always do the right thing.
Because of which I address her first in this my first piece after her election.
Madam, first off please require members of the National Assembly to not carry plates announcing ‘MNA’ on their cars and SUVs. These plates not only look cheap, they add nothing to the fact that the owner of the vehicle has been elected by the people, a very great honour in itself.
Announce that, leave alone slapping policemen, you will immediately suspend any member who is reported for having been rude to the police, any committee’s investigations notwithstanding.
Require that all members use the normal check-in and arrival procedures, and departure and arrival lounges, whenever they are travelling. And ask PIA to remove the check-in counters that are solely for the use of parliamentarians and say so too. (I have seen one at Karachi airport.)
For the coming prime minister and chief ministers I have the following to say:
If you MUST have flags on your cars — not flying flags takes nothing away from the British prime minister and those of European countries, or indeed from members of the US cabinet — please ban their use on motor cars for all but the president, prime minister, the governors and the chief ministers.
Voluntarily give up the executive jets that are in the use of all the provincial chief ministers and governors and take commercial flights instead. It may be essential to use helicopters to get to remote areas now and again, so the money that will come from selling the jets could well be used by the Cabinet Division in beefing up their helicopter fleet.
It was great reading just yesterday that Shahbaz Sharif has announced that the Chief Minister’s House, extended hugely and tarted up in bad taste by Pervaiz Elahi at great public expense, will be given over to an IT university.
This is excellent, but may one request Mr Sharif to please also order the opening of Club Road where it meets Golf Road, and which was closed off and included in the grounds of the CM’s House, before the House is handed over? Where in the world would anyone close off existing roads by fiat but in the Land of the Pure?
While one is on the subject, there is another property in Rawalpindi known as the DCO’s House abutting Fatima Jinnah Women’s University which too could be handed over to the university with the DCO finding alternative accommodation elsewhere. It will give the university another hostel.
We will have a new prime minister today. Here’s wishing him well. I pray that the Almighty keep him on the right path and to guide him to always do the right thing.
Bushism of the Week: “And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq” — President George W. Bush, meeting with Army Gen Ray Odierno; Washington, DC, March 3, 2008.
kshafi1@yahoo.co.uk
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Catastrophe? What catastrophe?
By Kamran Shafi
FIRST things first then, and straight to two statements that came out of the Pakistan Army within the past week, the first by the COAS himself who said that the Pakistan Army was “committed to the Kashmir cause in line with the aspirations of Pakistani [sic] nation”.
What was that please? How would GHQ know by itself what the aspirations of the Pakistani nation are, regarding anything at all? What mechanism does GHQ have to ascertain the aspirations of the Pakistani nation other than to follow in letter and spirit the directions and orders of the properly constituted Government of Pakistan?
For is it not a fact that the Pakistani nation has just last month gone to the polls and elected its representatives who will sit in parliament, throw up a government from amongst themselves, and get on with the business of governance? Should the Pakistan Army as just another department of the Government of Pakistan not hold itself at the disposal of the properly constituted government in which the Pakistani nation has reposed confidence and which therefore is the only arbiter of the people’s will and aspirations, no more no less?
The other statement was by the DG of the ISPR who said: “We have lodged a very strong protest with the coalition forces across the border” when asked about the death of two women and two children in an artillery/missile strike on the Pakistani village of Kangrai, North Waziristan.
Who is the “we”, please? Excuse me, but has the Pakistan Army now formally taken over running the country’s foreign relations? Is it not absolutely inappropriate for the army to be doing the protesting to a foreign entity, when the recognised convention is that the country’s government, in its foreign ministry, handles matters of state which have to do with other states?
Who are “coalition forces” anyway if not the US Army and the British Army augmented by barely token participation of some NATO countries? So why weren’t the ambassador of the United States and the High Commissioner for the United Kingdom summoned to the FO and a protest handed over to them?
Indeed, if the mere thought of summoning the American ambassador gives heart attacks to the ‘core-professionals’ who loll about in the Hotel Scheherezade, a third secretary of the American embassy could have been summoned to the FO. The point should have been made. The ‘coalition’, in its turn, should have apologised for the loss of innocent life.
But no; all Major Chris Belcher, its spokesman, had to say was: “We can confirm a precision-guided ammunition strike on March 12 on a compound connected with [the] Haqqani network 1.5 kilometres across the border in Pakistan…. I do not have any information on any casualties that may have occurred … the information I have is that the Government of Pakistan was notified immediately following the strike.” Full stop.
Clinical, cold, arrogant. But why doesn’t the ‘coalition’ understand that this kind of behaviour only makes America more enemies? How, indeed, does contriteness for a wrong committed in America’s name take anything away from it? Does one have to be an Einstein to understand that the Commando is today a much-reviled man for precisely this sort of behaviour?
And now to catastrophe. The Commando said in an interview with The Washington Times, again during the last week, which should go down in the history of the country as a week in which some of the most ludicrous statements were made: “Can you imagine what the effect would be on the business community, both foreign and domestic, or in the capitals of nations allied with us in the war on terror if the first thing they saw after this election was a political war between the presidency and the government? I think it would be catastrophic.”
Strong words, what!? Catastrophic for whom? For the Commando if parliament impeaches him? Or for the country if the Commando dismisses the assemblies if they attempt to impeach him? Does he even know the meaning of the word catastrophic?
Variously: disaster; calamity; upheaval; devastation; ruin; misfortune; tragedy; cataclysm! Is the Commando in such desperate straits that he will lead the country to ruin and misfortune if he is impeached? That he will devastate it? And bring tragedy upon our heads? Well, what about his oft-repeated mantra of ‘Pakistan First’? Or was that a load of nonsense as we always thought it was?
No sirs; if you simply refuse to read the writing on the wall, please look into your Turkish coffee cups more intently. Or read your tea leaves more carefully. Time is up, sirs, surely and truly. Anything you do hence-forwards: try and break up the People’s Party by activating your not so sleepy sleeper cells within it; try to bad-mouth the Sharifs to the Americans; use 58-2(b), nothing’s going to work.
This brings me to the matter of the Americans again, and their quite foolish leaks to the effect that they don’t really trust Nawaz Sharif when it comes to battling terror. Indeed, media organs allied to them are insidiously leaking stories to the effect that Osama bin Laden was known to Nawaz, etcetera.
Well, the bin Ladens were also known to the Bushes, enough for tens of them to be spirited out of the United States just one day after 9/11 despite there being a complete ban on air traffic all across the country. Osama himself was known to every CIA and ISI chief worth his salt. So where’s the problem?
And who was trying to cosy up to the Lal Mosque cleric just prior to the election to solicit his support? Not Nawaz Sharif but Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain, the Commando’s fellow traveller who, hand in glove with him, misruled this country for well on six very long years during which terrorism went through the roof.
It is also known that they are going about trying to find out what others opposed to the Commando, Aitzaz Ahsan for one, think about the war on terror. Is this a silly question or is it a silly question! What else would any Pakistani think about the need to uproot terrorism from our country but that it should be uprooted yesterday? But not in the foolish and self-defeating ways adopted by the Commando and his tight buddies, the American administration. Terrorism will only be defeated when tackled in an intelligent way, as humanely as possible.
In the end may I ask that the March 23 parade be cancelled? What is the point of holding it, cowering in fear, inside the Sports Complex where last year’s tamasha was also held and held badly? It was a joke, actually, as this one will be, with just some armed forces officers and their families attending. In any case this is a time fraught with suspense and fear and suspicion as the Commando’s dark shadow looms over and out of the President’s Lodge, Rawalpindi Cantt, (once Army House), the Lord only knowing how his knee will jerk the next time round.
Bushism of the Decade: “The reason I keep insisting that there was a relationship between Iraq and Saddam and Al Qaeda is because there was a relationship between Iraq and Al Qaeda” — President George W. Bush; 2004.
Stop Press: A detailed Pentagon study, reported in the press on March 13, 2008: “confirms there was no direct link between Iraqi ex-leader Saddam Hussein and the Al Qaeda network, debunking a claim President George W Bush’s administration used to justify invading Iraq”. So there! This is our Commando’s ‘tight’ buddy! A liar, through and through.
kshafi1@yahoo.co.uk
FIRST things first then, and straight to two statements that came out of the Pakistan Army within the past week, the first by the COAS himself who said that the Pakistan Army was “committed to the Kashmir cause in line with the aspirations of Pakistani [sic] nation”.
What was that please? How would GHQ know by itself what the aspirations of the Pakistani nation are, regarding anything at all? What mechanism does GHQ have to ascertain the aspirations of the Pakistani nation other than to follow in letter and spirit the directions and orders of the properly constituted Government of Pakistan?
For is it not a fact that the Pakistani nation has just last month gone to the polls and elected its representatives who will sit in parliament, throw up a government from amongst themselves, and get on with the business of governance? Should the Pakistan Army as just another department of the Government of Pakistan not hold itself at the disposal of the properly constituted government in which the Pakistani nation has reposed confidence and which therefore is the only arbiter of the people’s will and aspirations, no more no less?
The other statement was by the DG of the ISPR who said: “We have lodged a very strong protest with the coalition forces across the border” when asked about the death of two women and two children in an artillery/missile strike on the Pakistani village of Kangrai, North Waziristan.
Who is the “we”, please? Excuse me, but has the Pakistan Army now formally taken over running the country’s foreign relations? Is it not absolutely inappropriate for the army to be doing the protesting to a foreign entity, when the recognised convention is that the country’s government, in its foreign ministry, handles matters of state which have to do with other states?
Who are “coalition forces” anyway if not the US Army and the British Army augmented by barely token participation of some NATO countries? So why weren’t the ambassador of the United States and the High Commissioner for the United Kingdom summoned to the FO and a protest handed over to them?
Indeed, if the mere thought of summoning the American ambassador gives heart attacks to the ‘core-professionals’ who loll about in the Hotel Scheherezade, a third secretary of the American embassy could have been summoned to the FO. The point should have been made. The ‘coalition’, in its turn, should have apologised for the loss of innocent life.
But no; all Major Chris Belcher, its spokesman, had to say was: “We can confirm a precision-guided ammunition strike on March 12 on a compound connected with [the] Haqqani network 1.5 kilometres across the border in Pakistan…. I do not have any information on any casualties that may have occurred … the information I have is that the Government of Pakistan was notified immediately following the strike.” Full stop.
Clinical, cold, arrogant. But why doesn’t the ‘coalition’ understand that this kind of behaviour only makes America more enemies? How, indeed, does contriteness for a wrong committed in America’s name take anything away from it? Does one have to be an Einstein to understand that the Commando is today a much-reviled man for precisely this sort of behaviour?
And now to catastrophe. The Commando said in an interview with The Washington Times, again during the last week, which should go down in the history of the country as a week in which some of the most ludicrous statements were made: “Can you imagine what the effect would be on the business community, both foreign and domestic, or in the capitals of nations allied with us in the war on terror if the first thing they saw after this election was a political war between the presidency and the government? I think it would be catastrophic.”
Strong words, what!? Catastrophic for whom? For the Commando if parliament impeaches him? Or for the country if the Commando dismisses the assemblies if they attempt to impeach him? Does he even know the meaning of the word catastrophic?
Variously: disaster; calamity; upheaval; devastation; ruin; misfortune; tragedy; cataclysm! Is the Commando in such desperate straits that he will lead the country to ruin and misfortune if he is impeached? That he will devastate it? And bring tragedy upon our heads? Well, what about his oft-repeated mantra of ‘Pakistan First’? Or was that a load of nonsense as we always thought it was?
No sirs; if you simply refuse to read the writing on the wall, please look into your Turkish coffee cups more intently. Or read your tea leaves more carefully. Time is up, sirs, surely and truly. Anything you do hence-forwards: try and break up the People’s Party by activating your not so sleepy sleeper cells within it; try to bad-mouth the Sharifs to the Americans; use 58-2(b), nothing’s going to work.
This brings me to the matter of the Americans again, and their quite foolish leaks to the effect that they don’t really trust Nawaz Sharif when it comes to battling terror. Indeed, media organs allied to them are insidiously leaking stories to the effect that Osama bin Laden was known to Nawaz, etcetera.
Well, the bin Ladens were also known to the Bushes, enough for tens of them to be spirited out of the United States just one day after 9/11 despite there being a complete ban on air traffic all across the country. Osama himself was known to every CIA and ISI chief worth his salt. So where’s the problem?
And who was trying to cosy up to the Lal Mosque cleric just prior to the election to solicit his support? Not Nawaz Sharif but Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain, the Commando’s fellow traveller who, hand in glove with him, misruled this country for well on six very long years during which terrorism went through the roof.
It is also known that they are going about trying to find out what others opposed to the Commando, Aitzaz Ahsan for one, think about the war on terror. Is this a silly question or is it a silly question! What else would any Pakistani think about the need to uproot terrorism from our country but that it should be uprooted yesterday? But not in the foolish and self-defeating ways adopted by the Commando and his tight buddies, the American administration. Terrorism will only be defeated when tackled in an intelligent way, as humanely as possible.
In the end may I ask that the March 23 parade be cancelled? What is the point of holding it, cowering in fear, inside the Sports Complex where last year’s tamasha was also held and held badly? It was a joke, actually, as this one will be, with just some armed forces officers and their families attending. In any case this is a time fraught with suspense and fear and suspicion as the Commando’s dark shadow looms over and out of the President’s Lodge, Rawalpindi Cantt, (once Army House), the Lord only knowing how his knee will jerk the next time round.
Bushism of the Decade: “The reason I keep insisting that there was a relationship between Iraq and Saddam and Al Qaeda is because there was a relationship between Iraq and Al Qaeda” — President George W. Bush; 2004.
Stop Press: A detailed Pentagon study, reported in the press on March 13, 2008: “confirms there was no direct link between Iraqi ex-leader Saddam Hussein and the Al Qaeda network, debunking a claim President George W Bush’s administration used to justify invading Iraq”. So there! This is our Commando’s ‘tight’ buddy! A liar, through and through.
kshafi1@yahoo.co.uk
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